“Happiness or joy is the emotional state that proceeds from the achievement of one’s values. Suffering is the emotional state that proceeds from a negation or destruction of one’s values.”
“The collapse of self-esteem is not reached in a day, a week, or a month: it is the cumulative result of a long succession of defaults, evasions, and irrationalities a long succession of failures to use one’s mind properly.”
Nathaniel Branden
This book popularized the concept of self-esteem. Previously most psychologists recognized that how we perceive ourselves is important, affecting our behavior in areas such as work and love, but few had looked into exactly why. The Psychology of Self-Esteem attempts to get to the roots of personal estimation—what increases it, and what diminishes it.
Nathaniel Branden was a disciple and lover of Ayn Rand, a famous Russian-American philosopher and author of the classic novels Atlas Shrugged and The Fountainhead. As a result, for a work of psychology his book is very philosophical, driven along by Rand’s notions of supreme rationalism and individualism.
The Psychology of Self-Esteem takes as its premise that we are rational beings in full control of our destiny. If we accept this truth and take responsi- bility for it, we naturally see ourselves in a good light. If we fail to take responsibility for our life and actions, that estimation falls into danger.
Many readers find this book tough going, especially the first half, but it is one of the earliest classics of the popular psychology genre and still has the power to change minds.
Conceptual beings
Branden devotes many pages to highlighting how humans are different to other animals. His chief point is that while other animals may have conscious- ness, or at least awareness, only humans require a conceptual framework by which to view themselves. Other animals can perceive green-colored objects, but only we have the idea of “green.” Dogs can perceive individual people, but only we have the concept of “humankind.” Only humans can ask questions about the meaning of life. There is nothing automatic about such conceptualiz- ing; thinking, therefore, is for us an act of choice.
Branden refutes the two schools of psychology that were dominant at the time he was writing. Freudian psychoanalysis had humans as an “instinct- manipulated puppet,” while behaviorism saw us as a “stimulus–response machine.” Neither took account of our powerful conceptual mind that gives
us self-awareness and the ability to reason. Branden recalls Ayn Rand’s remark: “The function of your stomach, lungs or heart is automatic; the function of your mind is not.” We have the power to regulate and shape our own consciousness to achieve our goals.
We are created to think, and we must do so in order to esteem ourselves highly. If we dim our awareness, or are passive or fearful, step by step we kill our greatest gift. The result is that we hate ourselves. To love ourselves, we must cherish our ability to think.
Emotions and self-esteem
Have you ever been in a position where you know intellectually you should do something, but emotionally cannot bring yourself to do it? Psychological maturity, according to Branden, is the ability to think in terms of principles, not emotions. Psychological immaturity is being swamped by the moment and the emotion so that we lose sight of the broader picture. When we sacrifice thought and knowledge to feelings that cannot be justified rationally, Branden notes, the result is that we subvert our self-esteem.
Only if we have a rational approach to our emotions can we be free of paralyzing self-doubt, depression, and fear. This does not mean becoming a robot or a cold person, but simply having the awareness that emotions must be contained within a larger personal life philosophy. Neurosis, on the other hand, occurs when we let our feelings dictate our thoughts and actions. It is impossible to be both happy and irrational, Branden says; someone in com- mand of their life, if we look carefully, lives according to reason.
We think of happiness as an emotion, but it is one that stems from values that have been consciously chosen and developed—we are happy when we achieve or fulfill what is most important to us. When we deny or erode those values, we suffer. Branden remarks that anxiety tends to happen only “when a person has not done the thinking about an issue he should have.” By not thinking, the person has “thereby rendered himself unfit for reality.”
Physical pain is a mechanism designed for our bodily survival, but Branden suggests that psychological pain also serves a biological purpose: When we feel anxiety, guilt, or depression, that is telling us that our conscious- ness is in an unhealthy state. To correct it, we must reassert ourselves as an individual and assess our values, perhaps forming new ones. In contrast, when we sacrifice reason to our emotions, we lose trust in our own judgment.
Not sacrificial animals
People high in self-esteem are guided by objective facts. They have a good rela- tionship with reality, and always seek to stay true to who they are.
Their opposite is someone whose life is not really their own, who lives to satisfy the expectations, conditions, and values of other people; they want to
be seen as “normal” at all costs, and feel terrible if others reject them. Branden calls such people “social metaphysicians” because their philosophy of life revolves around others, not themselves. Of course, this person will label their style of life as “practicality,” as if self-sacrifice were quite rational. However, every step along this path leads them away from what is real and toward a loss of their true self.
Final comments
Branden disabuses the reader of the idea that self-esteem is a “feel-good phe- nomenon.” Rather, it is a deep need that cannot be satisfied by shallow means. It must come from within, and like a muscle will get stronger the more we develop it. The more decisions we make that reflect our highest good, the better we will naturally feel. The more “shoulds” (I should do this, or do that, because…) we have in our life, the more justifications we have to come up with. We become covered in a cloak of excuses, while inside our confidence slowly ebbs away.
If you are a very confident person and all is going well, The Psychology of Self-Esteem may not mean much to you, but read it when faced with diffi- cult choices in your life and it may come alive. For a more practical and less philosophical approach to self-esteem, you may prefer one of Branden’s subse- quent books, such as The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem or The Art of Living Consciously.
Nathaniel Branden
The author was born Nathan Blumenthal in Ontario, Canada in 1930. He attended the University of California, Los Angeles, where he received a BA in psychology, and completed his psychology PhD at New York University.
Branden first met Ayn Rand in 1950, later becoming leader of the “collective” or inner circle around her, which included his wife Barbara Branden and Alan Greenspan, later chairman of the US Federal Reserve Board. In the late 1950s Branden established the Nathaniel Branden Institute to pro- mote objectivism, and was considered the movement’s second voice. Despite being more than 20 years her junior, Branden had a lengthy affair with Rand, but only after they had gained the consent of their spouses. The romantic and professional relationship ended in 1968, when Rand learnt of Branden’s affair with the actress Patrecia Scott. His book My Years with Ayn Rand gives a good insight into the period, and although he has since criticized the cult of personality around Rand, her ideas continued to be reflected in his writing.
Branden co-wrote several books with Rand, including The Virtue of Selfishness (1964) and Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal (1966). Other titles include The Psychology of Romantic Love (1980), Honoring the Self (1983), and Taking Responsibility (1996).
Based in Los Angeles, Branden is a practicing psychotherapist and runs self-esteem seminars.
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